Actually, I love giving and receiving gifts, but it’s not always as satisfying as I’d like. I think giving is most enjoyable for both sides when the person giving the gift is doing it freely and sincerely, and when the person receiving really wants or needs the gift and is grateful for it. If the needed gift comes as a surprise, that can enhance the experience even more. Unfortunately, these factors weren’t always the case when it came to holiday gift giving.

When we lived in the USA, we weren’t rich by North American standards, but we had everything we needed, and so did everyone else we knew. Gifts that people really wanted were usually out of any one person’s price range. And the pressure to buy a gift for all our extended family and close friends made the holidays more stressful. To help with this, the year before we left we simply bought everyone the same gift: a fun board game we ordered in bulk from Amazon.com — the games even came pre gift-wrapped. It was simple, but I suppose not all that personalized. Some years, Christmas giving almost seemed like we were trading money or gift cards back and forth without any real purpose — only because it’s what was expected. Of course we want to give meaningful gifts, and we appreciate the caring thoughts behind any gift we receive, but don’t we also end up buying the things we really need and want anyway?

The difference for us now is that we want and need so much less. We own only what we can fit into our carry-on suitcases. It’s not much, but it’s enough for us. We don’t want more, because then we’d have to carry it around with us wherever we go. We may replace items that are wearing out, but we already have everything we need. Maybe you do too?

This made for a different kind of Christmas last year, because Santa didn’t bring us any presents, and we only got each other small gifts. Our girls had already figured out the Santa myth before then, anyway, thanks in part to the Costa Rican tradition of gifts being brought by “baby Jesus” instead of Santa. Honestly, the holiday wasn’t quite as exciting as usual, but it was an intimate family day, and we enjoyed it.

Make a Difference in Someone’s Life

This year, we’re really excited about what we’re doing for Christmas! A few months ago, Emily was searching online (she’s a great little Googler) and came across a website called charitywater.org. She called for us to come to the computer and take a look at what she wanted for Christmas. After checking it out, we knew it’s what we wanted, too. Watch this quick video to learn about it. Then read on.

There are over 1 billion people in the world who do not have access to clean water. That’s one in eight of us. As the video explains, water affects every aspect of our lives. CharityWater.org provides clean and safe drinking water to people in developing nations, and 100% of public donations go directly to fund water projects.

So, this Christmas we are not giving gifts to any family or friends. And we ask that you don’t give us any gifts either. Instead, let’s give to some people who really need it, and make a long-term difference in their lives.

Our goal is to raise $5,000 by December 31, which will provide clean drinking water for 250 people. In 18 months, we’ll also get pictures and a GPS location on a map of the completed water project. If you’d like to contribute and help us reach our goal, please visit the fundraiser page we set up at:

http://mycharitywater.org/pearce_family

To me, this kind of giving — the kind that is needed and makes a difference — is what the Christmas spirit is all about.

Other Traveling Families

Check out how these other traveling families are handling gift giving around Christmas.

• A King’s Life:  Forget the Gifts, Give an Experience this Christmas
• Family Trek: What’s For Christmas? Dear Santa, do we really need more stuff?
• The Nomadic Family: Poverty for Christmas
• New Life on the Road – Dear Mr Santa Claus Whats For Christmas
• With 2 Kids In Tow, It’s Backpacking We Go: Dear Santa, For This Christmas We Wish…
• Living Outside of the Box: The Best Christmas Presents
• Discover Share Inspire: Christmas is Coming – What Do We Give on the Road?
• Bohemian Travelers: Gift giving while living a simpler life
• Little Aussie Travellers: Presence vs Presents Christmas Time for Travelling Families
• Family Travel Bucket List: Feliz Navidad Without All the Stuff
• Livin’ On The Road’s kids: Susan – Christmas Traveling and Peter: Christmas
• A Minor Diversion – Reinventing Christmas
• Carried on the Wind – Christmas Giving

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Experiences are more important than possessions

Possessions can still be fun, but usually, they are just a distraction from what’s really most important – they’re a big money pit as well. Yes, I still bought an iPad (and even paid extra to have it brought to Costa Rica), and although fun, I still find it to be time sapper and a money pit. It can easily take me away from doing other things I should be doing. I guess this is a lesson I’m still in the process of learning. :) On the other hand, I sold almost everything I own because I realize that most of it was unnecessary and not really contributing to my comfort or happiness. I don’t really need more than 7 shirts, for example, and I feel much more free and light with less “stuff” to worry about.

Money can buy freedom

No, I’m not talking about bailing someone out of jail, although it could do that, too. I used to think the main purpose of money was to buy “stuff”. But now I realize that money can buy assets that are much more valuable, such as time, security, and freedom. If you have enough money, you’re free from worrying about covering monthly bills or losing a job, free to do more of the things you enjoy, with more time to enjoy it. You also have more resources (including time) to give and help others. It’s very liberating and empowering. Money is not evil. Rather, it is a powerful tool for good or evil, depending on how you use it.

Stay close to God and you will be happy no matter what

There is something special in the power that comes through seeking God in prayer, meditation, and reading holy writ. It brings peace through adversity, hope through trials, and joy throughout life. I believe that without a relationship with God, a man is just half a man and will never achieve a fulness of life.

Most people hold themselves back by fear

As I’ve broken away from the mold of society in many ways the past few years, I’ve been shocked to learn how fearful many people are of the unknown, even if the unknown can lead to something much better. Fear causes anxiety, stress, health problems, and unhappiness. Fear also inhibits growth. It’s better to believe that anything’s possible, face challenges head-on, and work to make your dreams happen. It’s a lot more fun and exciting, too. Sure, problems will come up along the way, but few are uncorrectable. And the ones that are usually can’t be controlled anyway, so why worry about them? Fear just holds you back from growth and enjoyment of life.

Don’t listen to the masses

Most people don’t have a clue about why they do things the way they do. They just do them because it’s what everyone else does. Even if it doesn’t make sense or they hate it, they don’t usually stop to consider alternatives. Or if they do, they’re too held back by fear (see above) to make any changes. This leads to major problems. Three examples that are going to label me as an extremist, until you take time to think about them:

• School is not education. Education and learning are life-long processes. Sending kids to school, away from the family for 4-8 hours a day, to memorize information they don’t care about 90% of the time, and will most likely never use, is not the same as education, and is not necessary for a happy and productive life. Then there’s the busywork – I mean homework that’s assigned to eat up kids time outside of school.  Why not just learn on your own about whatever you’re interested in (unschool / self-directed education)? Much more interesting. Much more direct. Much more useful. The Internet is a great teacher. Of course human teachers are still helpful in many fields, but you can find them outside of the school environment as tutors and specialists in your fields of interest. Our kids are leading their own education and doing great!
• Jobs suck life. Everyone seems to think that a great goal in life (and the purpose of school as well) is to get a job. But this job demands you to be gone (again, away from your family), for 8-10 hours a day, 5 days a week, with only 2 weeks of vacation per year, causing many people great anticipation for weekends and retirement. Why do people put up with that? What you’re actually doing is making some entrepreneur wealthy, putting your livelihood in someone else’s hands, and delaying your life until you’re 60 (unless you honestly enjoy your job, which few do). There is no such thing as job security – they could fire you whenever they want. Why not flip the equation and be the entrepreneur that creates jobs for other people? If you’re smart about it, you can even structure your business to run on its own, so you make money whether you work or not, giving you control of your time and your life, rather than an employer or your business. I love this part of owning a business. Being willing to live with less can make this a reality much more quickly as well.
• Good food is hard to find. Nothing is as healthy as wholesome, fresh food. Fruits, vegetables, and meats from grass-fed animals (eaten sparingly). Unfortunately, most of what we find in supermarkets and that is marketed to us in advertising is full of processed sugars and corn, injected with chemical vitamin supplements to replace a portion of the lost nutritional value, and is generally not all that good for you, causing a myriad of diseases. This rakes in money for both the food and medical industry, but is not good for our health. A better way? Shop at farmer’s markets, grow your own food, don’t snack on junk. Fruit tastes better anyway. I’ve been trying to do this lately and it feels great. I still eat junk on occasion, but usually don’t feel that great afterward.

Still think I’m crazy? Oh well. I’ve decided not to let what the masses are doing dictate how I live my life. It just holds me back, and sucks out a lot of potential, control, and joy.

Persistence pays

Persistence, desire, and refusing to give up is what it takes to achieve a goal. Any goal. No dream is too big if your desire is strong enough and you’re willing to work at it. I’ve experienced this so many times in my life in so many areas that I no longer believe excuses to the contrary. You can do anything!

People are more important than things and experiences

As nice as it feels to have stuff and to do exciting things, nothing feels as good as a loving relationship with someone you care about. Serving and helping others, doing something for someone that they can’t do for themselves, giving of your time and means and being a friend all fill a great need in the human heart. And some relationships can last forever.

Achievement isn’t everything

I am naturally driven to achieve, to create, to perform. Sometimes too much. I have learned that sometimes it’s really okay just to “be” -  to take time to do nothing “productive”, but just sit and listen and enjoy being alive. Life isn’t a race to see how quickly you can reach perfection. Life is a journey to be enjoyed along the way. Growth comes through experience.

Producing is more fun than consuming

Watching TV or movies, reading, listening to music, buying and using products and services, looking at art – all enjoyable. But what’s even more enjoyable is creating things yourself. Making music, writing your thoughts in a journal or a blog, building a business, creating art. What you create not only blesses you, but also those you share it with – double the fun. And it comes from deep inside you, giving you a greater sense of purpose and meaning by contributing in a way that only you can do.

Keep your wife happy

My wife is my best friend and companion and I love her more than I can say. She lifts me up and helps me see my potential and areas I can grow, as well as my strengths. I enjoy being with her and am glad we have so much time together. But I have also found the old saying to be true, “When mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” I’ve learned that if I do whatever it takes to keep her happy, things go much more smoothly. And she returns the favor, too. Everyone benefits. This is a relationship I want to last forever.

Kids need attention and play

Raising kids isn’t easy, and it’s not for the idle. They need lots of love and attention, and they need you to “play” with them. My 6 and 4-year-old ask me every day, multiple times a day if I will play “paper fairies” or “stuffed animals” or something else with them. I admit that sometimes I don’t really want to, and I often don’t really enjoy it when I do. It seems that I forgot how to truly lose myself in this type of play a long time ago, but I’m trying to learn from them how to do it again. I have, however, rekindled my love for hide-and-seek, exploring nature, and creating things. And I love reading to and with my kids. Most of all, though, I enjoy just talking with them, asking them questions and listening to their answers, or answering their questions. Parenting is hard work, but it also brings a lot of joy.

So, these are some of the things I’ve learned so far in my short lifetime. There is a ton more to learn, and I hope to never stop progressing. I’d love to hear what you’ve learned in your life, too, so share your comments below. Have you learned similar things to what I’ve learned, or is your experience completely different?

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Yep. That’s right.

Are we crazy?

Probably.

You’re kidding, right? But… WHY?!!

Isn't Costa Rica Beautiful?

Well, you already know how much we enjoyed our trip to Panama. True, that was more of a vacation-mindset trip than it was a “living in another country” trip, but we still experienced our share of culture, language, and grew closer together as a family.

We have been thinking all year about where we wanted to go next. We knew we wanted to stick with Spanish speaking countries, because we’re not yet satisfied with our current Spanish ability. We looked into Peru, Ecuador, Colombia…

But then we realized – Hey! We can fly almost free ($50/person each way) to Costa Rica, because my step-mom works for Jet Blue. Costa Rica is right next door to Panama, which we loved. It’s pretty well developed (yes, maybe a little touristy), but beautiful. Perfect weather. Laid back culture. Relatively low cost of living. Why not?

Lots of volcanos in Costa Rica - even active ones!

So, we’ve spent quite a bit of time the past few weeks researching about Costa Rica. I’ve posted messages on Costa Rica forums, and have been learning about the different aspects of the country. We probably won’t choose exactly where we’ll live until we get there – we’d rather see the place before committing to a long-term rental agreement, wouldn’t you? But we are narrowing it down to a few small cities and towns.

Finding a place to settle down permanently isn’t necessarily even our goal. We seem to be explorers by nature, and get quickly bored unless we’re challenged with new experiences and places. I’m not saying we’ll never settle down. Who knows, we may someday buy a place we love, and start collecting “stuff” again. But right now, we don’t really care about that. We want to live with less, and be mobile.

Selling Everything. Owning Nothing.

We’ve also realized how attached we can become to our possessions. And how, beyond basic comforts, they don’t really contribute to our happiness. In fact, our possessions can really weigh us down. Think of how much time and maintenance is required to own a house or a car, for example.

Recently, after reading a chapter in “The New Global Student” about families who have made the move abroad, or who sold everything they owned, bought a boat, and sailed with their family for a few years; we realized that a location-independent lifestyle – where we get the chance to explore new cultures as we want to, go where we want to go, when we want to go there, meet new people, and constantly be out of our comfort zones and growing – is a very appealing lifestyle for us. Change and growth can be fun! Especially when compared to stagnating in the sameness of day-to-day life.

So, as crazy as the idea still sounds, we feel great about selling everything we own – yes, even our new car – and getting a one-way ticket to Costa Rica. Well, we won’t be getting rid of everything. We’ll each take a carry-on suitcase with us, and we’ll put some things in storage as well. We’ll probably take a little loss on the car and the house (we just refinanced), but it will be worth it. Also, immigration laws won’t let us get a true one-way ticket, but we’re making it work.

We plan to stay until we feel like leaving, and then go somewhere else new – maybe Argentina, Brazil, India, China, Italy – who knows! But we probably won’t be coming back to the U.S. to live for a while (unless we want to). Of course, we’ll still come back to visit for holidays or other occasions. We may only want to stay in Costa Rica for 3 months, or we may stay for 3 years. Either way, it will be an adventure.

Renters by Choice

We plan on renting furnished apartments or houses wherever we go, so we don’t have any “baggage”. Our expenses could be so much lower, too (in many countries), than they would be in the U.S. so we could end up saving a lot of money – as long as we don’t treat every day like we’re on vacation, but actually try to live normal lives. Well, normal is relative, but… you know.

Of course our income won’t be affected, because I have an on-line business that continues to generate income every month, and I can run it from anywhere. This has been a great blessing to us, and we’re grateful it continues to grow.

However, you may be interested to know that there are many people doing the same thing, who aren’t Internet entrepreneurs. There are other ways to support yourself when living abroad. And in some countries, you can support your family and live like a king for under $1,000/month. (Note: Costa Rica isn’t one of them, although many locals live comfortably on less).

If you’re interested in reading about the experience of others who have moved abroad, check out some of these websites:

• http://locationindependent.com/
• http://jetsetcitizen.com/
• http://www.freepursuits.com/
• http://chrisguillebeau.com/
• http://away-together.com/about/
• http://www.zenhabits.net/
• http://www.nerdynomad.com/

A Change of Culture

We’ve also thought a lot about what we really want to gain from living abroad. One of the main things we want is a change of culture. Not that we expect Costa Rica to be perfect. No place is.

But to us, the suburban American culture we live in seems focused so much on money, competition, and possessions, over people, friendships, and becoming a good person.  Sure, that’s a stereotype and isn’t always the case. And life is what you make it. Also, a healthy dose of money, competition, and possessions can be beneficial. But I think an unhealthy focus on these things, at the expense of people and service, permeates our society, in the media, movies, news, and more, and it’s difficult not to be affected. We want a simpler, kinder, slower, focus-more-on-what-matters kind of life, and we find that easier to live in other places.

As one example, think of the fast-paced and hurried lives many modern families are now engulfed in, with kids enrolled in so many after-school activities, from sports and music to dance and extra classes to parties and playing with friends, not to mention homework. The hope is that we can give our kids every opportunity for growth and development and let them get a taste of everything that’s out there, and achieve their greatest potential.

I think that’s great. But I feel like in doing so, we may be giving up something more valuable. Parents can easily spend a good portion of their day simply driving their kids from one place to another, especially in larger families. And the kids are involved with so many activities, it’s difficult to really focus on any of them. Kids and parents can become over scheduled and stressed out, losing touch with each other and with life itself. Some families may be able to handle this pace, and it could work great for them. But it’s not the lifestyle that works for our family – we’ve tried it to some degree, and didn’t like it. I want to live my life more at a pace where if I pass by the proverbial rose, I won’t hesitate to take time to smell and enjoy and appreciate it.

Disconnecting and Slowing Down

I’m also finding that I, like many others, have a technology addiction that can be consuming. I think it’s great to connect with people through e-mail, and social media sites like Facebook and Twitter (and yes, even the phone if I have to). It’s great to be able to stay in touch with people who are far away, and we plan to continue using these tools. But I find that if I don’t take time to disconnect from everything electronic, for significant portions of the day (or week), I’m not as connected with myself – or with life – as I want to be.

For years, I was a constant productivity machine, always checking my e-mail, trying to make every moment count toward whatever goal I was striving for.  That’s great. It’s brought me some wonderful rewards. But I feel like it’s time to slow down. And I think I have slowed down a lot in the past year or two. I’ve realized that the more I live my life in such a way that I am in touch with how I’m feeling, the more connected I feel not only to myself, but to others, and to God. Do I really want to miss out on these opportunities for greater inner peace, more enriching relationships, and real personal growth, by constantly doing more, knowing more, and having more? I think not.

Like Panama, Costa Rica will be a catalyst for these kinds of changes in our lives.

What about the kids’ education?

As mentioned in previous posts, we plan on homeschooling our children. Their minds are so inquisitive right now, and we plan on exploring their areas of interest as far as they want to take them, in addition to teaching them reading and basic math, in natural ways (see Unschooling). But to be honest, at their ages (almost 6 and 4), I’m more concerned about our kids personal development than I am about their academic education. As they get a little older, maybe we can do something more formal, possibly even enrolling them in some foreign schools. If they want to graduate from college, there are plenty of options to do so internationally (and early), that are much cheaper than attending a U.S. institution.

Of course we’ll try to make sure they have the skills they need to survive in the world, how to think and make decisions, and make a living, etc. We’ll all probably end up being at least trilingual. But we’re more concerned about the kind of people they become. And the kind of people we are. We want to make volunteering a bigger part of our life as well. We’ve already contacted a few orphanages in Costa Rica for starters, and plan to do what we can to help. We’ll see where life takes us.

I still can’t believe you’re doing this!

In some ways, neither can I. It may also surprise you that Jen, not me, has been the biggest instigator of this move. I had several doubts and hesitations about it myself. And I’m not excited about all the preparation work involved in leaving. But we know we want to do it. The rewards are too great to pass up. Our lives have been moving in this direction for years, and we’ve finally realized that this is the next step we need to take. (Although we would never have dreamed of making a jump like this two or three years ago.)

And while we may be a little crazy, we’re also happy. We’re all of a sudden willing to throw out so many of the ideas our culture has taught us about what’s important in life, what’s a necessity to have, and what we’re expected to do. We’re re-inventing our lives, learning from experience, and trying new and exciting things. It’s invigorating, and we feel alive!

We probably won’t be leaving until January, 2010, because there is a lot to do to get ready for the move. We’re going to miss our family and friends here, but in this global age of blogs, e-mail, Facebook, and Skype, I don’t think we’ll seem that far away. And we can always come back. Or you can come visit us! And we hope you will.

If any of you are interested in having our “stuff”, we’d be happy to have you take it off our hands. Everything from furniture, to cds and movies, toys, electronics, decorations, and more, has got to go. But there are some furniture pieces we’d like to keep within the family. We’ve already donated more than half our clothes to charity. The toys are next, so act fast before they’re gone. Just let us know if you’re interested, and you can come take a walk through our house and see if anything strikes your interest.

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